Guide for life..(men only)

If you want to be a man who have been called "Buaya", you must know one rule applies in your life in the world of romance
there is How to make woman happy!

You know, there are several classification for men before they succesfully be a band of BUAYA.The classification are Cicak, kadal,Tokek,Komodo and Buaya. Where are you standing for our world?Why are you still jomblo? i will help you with this lesson.

first, lets talk about "THE SHORT WAYS TO BE PERFECT BUAYA ".I composed it with system point after intensive research and my experience.For notes, if you succes be a "BUAYA", the woman is "Penyayang BUAYA". You must believe me for this statement.

Here is the guide with the point system :

SIMPLE DUTIES

* You make the bed (+1)
* You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows (0)
* You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
* You leave the toilet seat up (-5)
* You replace the toilet-paper roll when it's empty (1)
* When the toilet-paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex (-1)
*When the Kleenex runs out you shuffle slowly to the next bathroom (-2)
* You go out to buy her spring-fresh extra-light panty liners with wings (+5)
* But return with beer (-5)
* You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
* You check out a suspicious noise and it's nothing (0)
* You check out a suspicious noise and it's something (+10)
* You pummel it with a six iron (+100)
* It's her father (-10,000)


SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS

* You stay by her side the entire party (0)
* You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college buddy (-22)
* Named Tika (-4)
* Tika is a dancer (-6)
* Tika has silicon implants (-180)

HER BIRTHDAY

* You take her out to dinner (0)
* You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+7)
* Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)
* And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3)
* It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favourite team (-10)


A NIGHT OUT

* You take her to a movie (+2)
* You take her to a movie she likes (+14)
* You take her to a movie you hate (+100)
* You take her to a movie you like (0)
* It's called 'DeathCop 9' (-3)
* It features cyborgs eating each other and having sex (-10)
* You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)


A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS

* Go out with a pal (-5)
* And the pal is happily married (-4)
* Or frighteningly single (-7)
* And he drives a Honda bebek 70' (-10)
* With a personalized license plate "AC 1 NUL" (-15)


YOUR PHYSIQUE

* You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
* You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
* You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
* You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8,000)

COMMUNICATION

* When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)
* You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
* You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)
* She realises this is because you have fallen asleep (-10,000)
* You forgot to brush your teeth, after your eat "Petai" (-1,000)
* she like "Bau petai" (0)

ENJOY THE 'BIG' QUESTION

* She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) [Yes, you LOSE points no matter WHAT]
* You hesitate in responding (-10)
* You reply, "Where?" (-35)
* Any other response (-20)




End of lesson. Thanks
(If you heve any question, you can consult with me after office hour. it free!)



Moral of Lesson

* There is not easy to be a "BUAYA", except you have a big talent.
* If you failed with this guide, please try again.Try and try again
* Dont forget to "Mandi Kembang" every friday kliwon night
* if you still fails, thats your fate. please go to a big mirror and see your face structure.i hope you get answers there.
* finally, if you know DIAN SASTRO's mobile phone number... please send it to me..